Miracles and mayhem

Been a bit slack on the blogging front so apologies first off.

Well, Aimee spent a week with Cat at her grandfolks in MK, leaving me to enjoy a whole week of proper sleep and evenings doing stuff I used to do before parenthood. In MK, it was a good opportunity to bond with her Aunties Janet and Sarah.

Aimee has been back for a few days now and unfortunately, is not sleeping very well - day or night. It could be teething, it could be hunger (she is currently going through a phase of breast-rejection), it could be anything. So far, we have tried every trick in the book and beyond. It is so hard to deal with a very wakeful but tetchy baby at 4am. Anyway, Cat and I think that my snoring is waking her up so I will try sleeping in the other room. In any case, it won;t be long before she is put in her own room and we begin feeding her solids - two things that may help change her bahaviour to more manageable conditions.

But it is not all hard luck news. Aimee is maturing cognitively at an astonishing rate. Her facial expressions and reactions to things - usually me - are a constant source of amusement. Last night, I put her on her belly and beckoned her to crawl. She was in hysterics with laughter and joy. Amazing!

In other news, Cat's mothers-group friend Jennifer called to say that the Gina Ford book (the one we hate so much) we lent her has worked wonders. He rlittle five month old used to feed every two hours - DAY AND NIGHT. This was causing her considerable distress and she asked Cat for the book as a desperate resort. Lo and behold, she called to say the routines it gives worked a miracle and her baby boy slept for 7 hours non-stop last night - the first time in five months he has ever had more than 2 hours sleep. So...miracles do happen. We might have to eat our words soon and resort to Gina and her 7am open the curtains routine.


Image courtesy of Janet's planet

Wide Awake Again!!!

The Little One decided to have one of her manic episodes last night. After a difficult feed, she slept on and off from 10.30pm until about 2am. Then, that was it, screaming, laughing, napping, crying, yelling until 9am. Poor Cat got zero sleep and I decided the living room couch would give me a few hours respite, but it was not to be, I could still hear her and was unable to sleep.It's hard to understand why exactly she does this. It did not help that her routine that evening suffered owing to Cat wanting to meet up with friends in the evening. But I don't think this was it. Possibly, a day since her final jab, her body is suffering with the after effects - although she shows no signs of fever or illness. It could be, that at 4 months old, her emotional development is growing rapidly and when she is overstimulated during the daytime (she finally got to meet her Aunty Janet and there was also a trip to Cat's workplace - all very stimulating activities) sometimes it manifests itself as a night of very noisy wakefulness. Cat and I are resigned to being bleery eyed and foul tempered for the time being until she settles down into the 'pattern' again.

Baby Love

An interesting couple of days recently. On Saturday we met up with my friends Richard and Adriana and their 10 month old daughter. It was really strange picking up their baby cos we are so used to Aimee that it came as a shock to hold a baby that is much bigger and stronger. At ten months, my friends baby can wriggle and fight and reach out for things you thought were metres away from her prying hands. It seemed like you needed to keep an eye on her constantly. But she is really cute and I loved the way she happily takes an interest in books and food and can react when you call her name. Aimee is still a long way away from that phase, but already she is smiling tons more and her laughter is also progressing away from the hoarse grunt to a short chuckle. She also cries and last night, she cried every two hours thorughout the night -it was tough.Today, my work colleague brought her 3 month old daughter in to the office. Again, I was amazed how different her baby is, even though there a only a few weeks difference in age between her and Aimee. This baby has a massive shock of wonderful long black hair. It made for an interesting image as the baby itself was quite small - smaller than Aimee I reckon. Anyway, I helped change the babies nappy much to the amusement of my other office colleagues. But I do adore babies in all their shapes and sizes, maybe I am a softie!

Getting back in shape

The newly installed routine seems to be doing its trick. Aimee has now followed the same sleep pattern for one whole week. After her 7pm bath, there is a cuddle, a feed and down in the cot. She fusses until Cat feeds her again. After a very short nap, she fusses and Cat repeats for a third time. By now, it is usually about 9.30 to 10pm. So far, she has not gone past the third feed of fussiness. She may require one or more nightly feeds, but these are short and no-nonesense. She then wakes us up with her impatient grunting (or is that me?) about 7am and so begins another day.

Yesterday, Cat began her new fitness regime - courtesy of our world champion kickboxing coach - John. He invited Cat to pop down and try one hour private kickboxing session. Poor Cat - no exercise at all for over a year has left her once taut muscles a but wobbly. But her kicks and punches were still there, so hopefully the new fitness regime will get Cat back to shape in no time (actually I think she is in fabulous shape anyway, but I am biased!)

At the gym, I chatted to one man who said his daughter refused to sleep at nights and he had to carry her in the papoose each night until she did. He did this for FIVE YEARS!!!!
So whatever hardship we feel we encounter, there is always someone else who can trump that - then you feel silly for complaining about such as minor thing.

Routines

The past three nights over the weekend were awful. we would put aimee down after her midnight feed
as usual and she would sleep for about 15mins and then scream blue bloody murder for hours!I mean really scream. She is not ill, but something clearly is upsetting her. This happened for 3
nights. Poor Cat was weeping at the sheer hell of not getting any sleep herself. Not only at night, but
at anytime you put Aimee in her cot she screams.A quick consult with the books and other parents and it was suggested that we alter our night routine. Babies apprently, must have routine, above all else. Otherwise you get what we just got.Last night, we started a new bedtime routine. Bath at 7pm, bedtime story (Aimee bizarrely loves
staring at the pages of books), long feed, put into cot, lights down - all of this by 8.30pm.Well, it didn't work - she slept for maybe 45 mins and woke up crying. But Cat comfoted her, fed her
again and put her in the cot. Eventually, Aimee fell asleep and, apart from a quick feed at 1am and
6am, she slept until 8am...Bliss!Clearly, we were letting Aimee get overtired and not enough sleep during both the day and the night.
We were happy to play with her and stimulate her until well past midnight. We realise this is now a
poor way to look after Aimee. We just thought she would sleep when necessary and wake when
necessary, but all the advice says, we must establish a routine to get her to learn to sleep by herself.So, every night, we will continue the routine until she has learned the sleep triggers. God I hope it
works. Both Cat and I could never deal with that kind of torture anymore!

It ain't over til the fat baby sings

Aimee is in the full throes of teething.Of course there is no tooth yet, but her constant drooling, red cheeks and insatiable desire to bite on anything withingrasping distance are obvious symptoms. What's most unpleasant about this phase is that she sleeps for no more than about half an hour at night, causing both me and Cat much sleepless anguish.On the good front, Aimee is now very good with her hand eye coordination, she is able to reach out and grasp for eye-catching toyings that are dangled in front of her. She also plays her 'piano' toy by batting the keys very hard and gaining much pleasure at the result of her actions.But it is all very hard work. Aimee it seems is one of those babies that simply cannot survive without constant attention.
Our friend Catherine came round yesterday.


Here she is playing with Aimee.

Cath is 5 months pregnant and came round eager to learn about life with a young baby. Of course Aimee was on her very best behaviour and Cath left our house seemingly quite happy - despite our horror stories of the things that went wrong during Cat's labour.
We're experiencing a mini-rough patch with the Aimster. We hope it won;t last. I am sure there are parents out there with far worse situations (like my friend Greg's baby who had colic for 3 months and cried non-stop for 4 hours every night). Team Yang will just have to battle it out.

Bjorn Again

Yesterday, Valentine's Day, Cat and I were able to spend an evening out together for the first time since Aimee was born. Thanks to Cat's mum for taking baby-sitting duties. We enjoyed a nice meal and a great time - we felt like kids again. To cap off our great evening, Aimee managed to sleep 6 and half hours last night...sheer bliss.
Yesterday was also the day that Aimee was given the second of her scheduled three vaccine shots. Cat says she took the pain bravely and only cried for a little bit. Aimee's weight, at 12 weeks old is now 13lbs (6Kg) - so she has slowed down her previously phenomenal growth spurt, down to a more average level.
Cat and I were agreeing on how much our attitudes have changed. Before Aimee, we would baulk at the idea of buying needless toys, clothes and hip baby accessories. Now, anything goes. If it helps, we buy it, no second thought. Our latest purchase is a 'Baby Bjorn' baby carrier. These things are the Rolls Royce of carriers but their high cost is I think worth it. Soon as you pop Aimee in it, she is happy and content. The Mothercare one was pants and hurt our backs. This one, is like a second skin. Plus we get to look the part when we wander down Broadway market amongst the other aspiring middle class families with their Quinny prams and Baby gap fashion wear.

Cat just spoke to her friend, who is 21 weeks pregnant. The friend mentioned that her sister in law had SOLD her their second hand Moses basket (for nearly full price). She also tried to flog loads of other stuff, many of it originally given free. Now I'm sorry, but what sick fcuk sells on free second hand baby stuff to their own close relative? One of the things that amazed me and Cat was the sheer unprompted generosity of our friends and relatives in giving us gifts, presents and very useful second hand items when Aimee was born. We hope that we can pass on that goodwill to our friends and relatives with items we think are useful, but we would certainly not sell them our second hand baby gear, that would just be wrong.

Developmental recap: Aimee can now smile in response to your smile, or spontaneously, she can clasp her hands together, she can hold her head up without support, she seems to be teething, she can grip an object for a reasonable length of time, she can reach out and hit a dangling object eg on the Fisher Price toy piano.

Gripped!

It's one of those moments me and the missus refers to as a 2001 moment. You know like in the Kubrik film where the dramatic music in the background as apes first learn to use tools.
Aimee had a 2001 moment when she realised that her hands were capable of gripping and hitting something. so far, her hands have been something convenient to put in one's mouth. But now, Aimee is pulling, tugging, gripping, swiping away with baby abandon.
On the musical rocker, she knows to pull at the strings to get a melody. If you place her down on her back, watch out, she is still gripping your clothing! If you turn away for one second, there, she has gripped onto something which immediately finds it's way into her mouth. Yuk!

As with all things Aimee however, what one gains in one area, we lose in another. While her grip power is now that of a healthy 12 week old, her ability to sleep on her own is that of a nought month old. Perhaps we are to blame - ie no routine, too much stimulation, no sleep 'cues', too much rocking and slinging. No wonder she won't sleep in the cot on her own. She has got used to all the other things except just damn well closing her eyes on her own. But perhaps, she is still a little young and maybe in a month's time, she will be able to go longer at night without waking.
We shall see. I am conforted by the fact that we are not alone in this area, but I fear the controlled crying regime that many recommend for very bad sleepers.
But in the meantime, we shall continue to rock her, sing to her, sway her etc to get her to sleep so we can sleep.

Sleep tactics

Sleep - that precious commodity, so rare these days, so hard to find, but heaven when it happens!
Every parent must have gone through the same tactics and tricks that we have gone through to get Aimee to sleep. So far, we have tried rocking in arms, singing, pop music, swinging in the car seat, walking around in the sling, lullabies - the lot.
All of them work to some extent, but not all the time. You start with one, then guage the reaction. If the Aimee gets more agitated you move to the next one and so on. Until either you or Aimee conks out.
Last night was a new one - white noise. My white noise to be precise. I lay Aimee down and she was too excitable to sleep, staring at all and sundry. If you leave her alone, she'll protest so I stayed there and started making continuous hissing and gurgling sounds from my mouth. Weird I know but it seemed to hypnotise her - it took a long time though but eventually she fell asleep. That was it, off to bed and Aimee did not make a peep until 5am - hoorah!

Aimee has a new trick herself. She can put all her fingers in her mouth and make herself gag. I actually think she enjoys the sensation. No harm seems to come of it and she hasn't actually gone so far as to vomit, but it does look disturbing. She seems happy though.

Won't be long before the dreaded teeth come through.

Year of the Dog

January 29, 2006 is Chinese Year of the Dog. To celebrate, the family Yang all gathered for a chinese feast.

My Dad's Bruce Lee and I'm Sitting on a JCB

Ok, I ain't no Bruce Lee and I don't drive a JCB. But a bit of both is needed when you go out and about with a pram. Where once you were free to roam the high ground and the underground with just a pass and some time, now you are laden with a four wheeled tea trolley and a backpack full of nappies, oh and a .And people don't necessarily move out of the way for you. No, you are expected to weave, bob and dart your way through a busy high street and negotiate steps and stairs by clunking your tea trolley one step at a time. You apologise for ramming into the heels of the person in front and you curse as you wait ages for the lift only for it to be full and the escalator is not an option.Rushing around with a pram is the nearest I will get to experience what it is like for wheelchair users to travel around. The connection between the two is even more profound when you realise that a lot of stores and public areas do not have changing rooms, and many mothers are left to sit on the floor of the wheelchair access toilets.Of course I realise that despite these hurdles, we are very fortunate in many ways. We have a car (though somewhat damaged since Cat took to the wheels and scraped a salt grit box) and as a couple, we can pretty much get anything we want organised and sorted, it just takes a little longer. Compare that to the many single mothers in our part of London who are very young, poor and often left to struggle alone.

Lookee Likee

Aimee, Cat and I had a hectic weekend of socialising. First off we went to visit my friends Dai and Lisa and their two year old Olivia. To see Olivia is maybe to see a glimpse of what Aimee would be like in a few months time. She is one lively little girl, full of energy and buzzing with the excitement of youth. Today, all Cat's girly friends came round for a coo and a cuddle. Then finally it was off to my parents for Sunday dinner.
Aimee clearly loves all the attention and thrives on company. When there is lots of laughter, chatting and fun going on, she wants to see it all. It won't be long before she laughs and chats on her own too, as we are fast seeing signs of her developing vocal skills. During one playing spell, Aimee was able to show huge signs of pleasure by smiling and gurgling. Her voice seems to be changing from a newborn whine, into a more baby-like yell. Great when laughing, ear-shattering when crying.
It is interesting to note who people think Aimee most looks like. Some people swear she is the spit of me, others can't see it at all. Many, who know my family well, actually say she looks a lot like either my Mum or even my Dad!
But I think she looks unique. Maybe a smidgeon of my sister when she was a baby - especially when she is crying, since that is my memory of her as a child (crying usually as a result of something naughty that I did!).

Smile secret no longer

Yep, here it is captured on camera for the first time, Aimee's smile. Ahhhhh:

In other Aimee news, yesterday she got the first of her proper vaccinations (the previous BCG was just a minor one compared to these biggie jabs). She seems a little drowsy and has disturbed sleep but so far has avoided the fever and high temperature that some babies get when they are vaccinated.
They also weighed Aimee and she is now 12lbs. So only an extra 1lb in two weeks, clearly her phenomenal growth spurt has slowed to a more normal rate.

Yin & Yang

Our topsy turvey world is getting more topsy and turvey. Especially at night where it is getting increasingly difficult to get Aimee to go to sleep. We have followed every bit of tactic and advise we can, rocking vs not rocking, letting her sleep lots during day vs not letting her sleep lots, singing vs no sound etc. But it seems a bit random. Some nights are fine and she'll sleep happily for four to five hours solid before her next feed. Most though are a mixture of grumpy feeds, with screaming compaints about wind or full nappies, or some other mysterious cause for her discomfort. Both Cat and I are finding the early morning tantrums a real slog and very hard to deal with. There can be few things more tortuous than sleep deprivation.
But for every negative thing, there is a positive. Recently, Aimee has started producing real smiles. If you time it right when sheis calm, if me or Cat plays with her and makes a silly or smiley face, she will respond with a smile of genuine pleasure. She can also push her entire head and chest off the ground when placed stomach down. This is most impressive as you can really imagine her in this posture and crawling (hopefully not for several months though!).All the while, Aimee just grows and grows.
We have dubbed her many nicknames, from Fois Gras, for her voracious feeding appetite, to Godzuki for her fearsome yells (for such a tiny body) as we both cower behind a chair.Finally, thanks to Barry and his wife Catherine for passing on their cot to us. The vast acreage of mattress space may be just what Aimee (who now seems too big for the Moses basket) needs.

Armed and dangerous

Little babies, I have read, have no sense of their own limbs. In that
they do not know what their arms or hands are and cannot reach out
to grab things yet. They soon learn of course, but at Aimee's stage,
the arms are kind of just flapping around. But I have noticed that it is
not entirely random and they show quite a range of different patterns
that give valuable clues to her mood and needs:
- There is the continuous one arm in, one arm out motion which
looks like a robot gone a bit haywire. She does this when she is a bit
distressed due to wind or reflux.
- There is the hunching up during nappy change - she brings her
hands together and quivers as if shivering - though I should point out
that I am not freezing her, the room is quite warm, it's just a reflex.
- There is the so sleepy and tired that I scratch my entire face to
pieces. This is the most disconcerting. No matter how well I trim her
nails, Aimee always finds a way to self-harm.
- There is the just waking up - arms held stiffly aloft and body arched
as she gives a big yawn to wake up.
- Finally the best arm and leg thing that Aimee does is when she
sneezes. Her whole body tenses up and then, as the sneeze sprays
out, all her arms and legs dramatically splay outwards in time.

Aimee caught her first cold these couple of days. Her poor nose is
bunged up and snotty and she is finding it difficult to breathe when
sleeping or feeding. A quick consult with the medical textbook (I
know, I promised to leave it alone) suggests saline nose drops and
squeezy plunger! Luckily, Aimee seems to have recovered all by
herself, albeit with a few sniffles.


That baby sure can sneek up anywhere