Aimee's first Xmas

Aimee just experienced her very first Xmas ever. She spent a week staying at the home of Grandparents Mac and boy did she enjoy it! Fussed over like a little Princess, Aimee had everything she needed and more. Nanna Mac had renovated the second bedroom into a complete nursery fitted out with everything a baby could ever need. New cot, new carpets, new toys, new everything!
Of course Aimee received the most number of presents this Xmas and the biggest! Causing her mum and dad the dilemma of how it was all going to fit inside the car. But no mind, Aimee responded to her copious gifts with almost a smile. Won;t be long before she smiles properly.
Aimee is now back at home and of course, without all the fun and excitement of Xmas - is taking some time to settle back into a more chilled pattern. But she has just had a bath with Mum in themain bath and obviously loves being in water. This has helped calm her down and hopefully, will sleep better tonight.

Cranium

Cat and Aimee are up in MK already leaving me back in London to go back to work for the few days before Xmas. I forgot how much attention, questions and quizzing from work colleagues went on before Aimee was born, but now, rather than shoulder shrugging and blankly responding that Cat was not yet in labour, now, I can talk endlessly about life with Aimee. In fact, I go on so much about it that I think people are now avoiding me. Especially since I do like to give colourful and incident-filled reports about how tough the birth was and how gruesome the nappy changing can be. But I love talking about Aimee, and my new audience is other parents - who also love talking about their kids so now, I am in this totally new club.

Whilst Cat was in MK, she saw her osteopath and he gave Cat a clean bill of health concerning her hip bones. But when he l examined Aimee he noticed that her skull was slightly compressed on one side (the side she had her fist held as she was born) which could be the reason why she is exhibiting some tantrums during feeding and not sleeping well. This field of cranial osteopathy is new in the UK. Whilst it is not tree-hugging hippy medicine, it is something not really known about by midwives and doctors. My friends Charles and Liz also went for treatment with their baby daughter, and can attest that it works. Aimee is due for a couple of cranial treatments this week so I am keen to keep track of how it affects her behaviour.

One thing we did learn was a pressure point just on the left side of her belly which could be massaged to encourage wind to pass through the system, either as a belch or a fart. Aimee is quite a trooper with the wind, she either selfishly harbours her wind until it causes her pain, or she lets off with the most embarrassingly loud parps. Either way, we welcome any help with getting the wind out of her system fast.



Anyway, for me, it is great to finally get a full night's sleep. But Cat is already making sure that I make up for it when I go up to MK with a full quota of nappy changing duty.

My next report will be on Aimee's first Xmas - in MK with the family Mac.

Bitty

The past two days has seen Aimee feed with the appetite of a Tyranosaur. Every 1.5-2 hours she is demanding her breast milk and she must be fed within two minutes of her getting agitated or she'll wail the house down. Poor Cat's boobs barely have time to recover. Aimee is draining one breast and trying her best to empty the other, before finally succumbing to fatigue and falling asleep. We hope this is a growth spurt, as usually happens with babies, and will settle down to a more boob friendly schedule in a few days. Ironic though, that for three weeks, the boob was rejected, and now, she can't get enough.

We went to the baby weighing clinic yesterday. Aimee is now a whopping 4.33Kg (9lb8oz). In just four weeks she has put on a kilo of solid Aimee mass. This, according to the chart, is slightly above average. Oh no, I fear we are rearing a blimp. But her appetite is insatiable. Maybe we are weak, but we dare not ration her feedings since she is big enough to beat us up now.

Message in a bottle

Well, it's been four days since Aimee last touched the bottle and I'm happy to say that she is breast-feeding with gusto now. It is not all plain sailing, sometimes she protests so much she goes onto fits of hysteria. We now know that she is actually not always that hungry and she needs simply to sleep for one hour, so we papoose her. One hour of close-contact swaying later - blissful suckling. We are also learning that complete peace and quiet is actually a bit annoying to Aimee. She loves the buzz and excitement of new places, new faces, outdoors, cold, warm, bright lights, flashing colours, music very loud. This cacophony actually calms Aimee into a peaceful lull. Amazing!

This morning we attending a breast-feeding clinic. Actually it was more of a mother's social gathering where they chatted about life with a young'un. I felt initially a little self-concious as the only bloke there but it was very friendly. The woman running it was incredibly impressed that Aimee could breast feed now especially after three weeks of bottle. She offered some interesting tips about improving positioning, including an unusual down on all fours version I have never seen before. Surreal, but refreshing to talk about these things with someone who is not a midwife or health visitor (they perhaps unintentionally do make you feel slightly useless).
Anyway, there were dozens of babies of all ages there and all the mums offered very sueful personal experiences and advice about all sorts of things.
I was most impressed with a young toddler (maybe a year old) who was dipping in and out of his mother's breasts like you would snack on a packet of peanuts! At one point, he was standing upright, extending his neck to suckle on his mother who's breast drooped to just the right height for him - all the time, she was chatting quite unperterbed.

Amazing Aimee

Something amazing happened today. Aimee breastfed for the first time. Not just a dabble or a lick - proper full on thirty minutes a go breast feeding just like all the propoganda those leaflets from the NHS show. It's a bloody miracle and I can;t beleive it has actually happened.

It started this morning. Aimee had her feed from the bottle but only finished three quarters. She seemed happy but not sleepy so as Cat began her usual slog of expressing nilk inthe other room, I was playing with Aimee. I noticed after a short time that she began rooting with her mouth. Unusual I thought since even a 3/4 feed would normally stop her from feeling hungry so soon. I placed my finger knuckle close to her mouth and she reached out with her mouth to suckle on it. Blimey, I thought, what if my knuckle were a nipple instead?
I ran over to the other room and made Cat present her nipple. With Aimee held vertically under the arms like a floppy kitten, I put her to the breast....Darn! It worked. Soon she was gulping down milk like a seasoned breastfeeder. You cannot imagine the feeling we had watching this phenomenom when we thought all hope was gone. I nearly cried.

Then, this afternoon we tried again, with semi success, we still needed the bottle to finish her feed. Then, tonight, she protested quite a storm, but after a lot of calming, she eventually took andfed for 40 minutes. Really gulping too. We need to learn the best time to do it. Too early and she is too asleep, too late and by the time she is crying, we need her to calm down. The silicone nipple protector helps too as it fools herinto thinking itis a bottle teat. Other than that, it is persistence I guess that will eventually turn her into a permanent breast feeder.

It is only the beginning and it won't be easy, maybe it will never happen again, but it has given us hope to continue trying her on the breast. This is truly a significant breakthrough and I am only too happy to continue reporting in the next few entries Aimee's progress from bottle, to breast (surely a minor miracle after 3 whole weeks bottle feeding).

Timing

Aimee is getting good at timing her wee-wees. She'll do it the minute you take away her old nappy and place a new one on. On a good day, she will release an arc of baby wee about two inches into the air, and just powerful enough to coat your hand which is holding the new nappy, plus it wil also leak onto the towel beneath her, hence requiring yet another item to add to the laundry bin.
But she is pretty calm during nappy change since we are beginning to suss out that we can pretty much do what we need as long as we feed her before hand. We are now adopting a new strategy of dosing her up on an extra ounce of milk just after her nappy change to ensure a full tummy and sleepy baby. So far this has not worked as planned since her wind is too painful for her to get any length of sleep.
Yesterday we all ventured out on our biggest excursion yet. Cat, Aimee, me and MIL travelled to the BBC to see Cat's work colleagues. You can't imagine the logistical nightmare that preparing that trip involved. Since we are bottle feeding, we needed to pack all the pre-chilled bottles, nappies, changing mat etc etc, but also we needed to bring the electric breast pump and all the accessories for that. But we managed it. And clearly, Cat's work colleagues enjoyed seeing little Aimee, who put ona charm offensive worthy of an Oscar.

Come on feel the noize

Little Aimee exhibits a startling array of vocal grunts, groans, wheezes, whimpers, yells, screams and cries. We dub her the Pterodactyl since we imagine she kind of sounds like a baby dinosaur. At night,she is more like a 'Terror' dactyl as she can scream her face off for no apparent reason. Her signature wail is the undulating high pitched cry after a prolonged bout of normal crying. This usually signals the end of one period of crying, as she takes a breather ready to begin the next round of wailing.
Cat and I, whilst not enjoying the crying, are at least managing to view this as simply something Aimee does and after we feed her, change her, check she is ok, there is not much more we can do other than soothe her or rock her.
I asked the health visitor if she had colic, and the reply was that this was nothign compared to colic. Gulp! God forbid she develop colic. At the most, Aimee wails for about 40 minutes - usuallyt cos she wants feeding earlier than usual. Once fed and changed, she is generally fine, though refuses to go to sleep. Colic babies wail despite all attempts to find a solution. They wail for hours and hours and hours. The pain must be unbearable. No one knows the real reason for colic. I hope Aimee doesn't get colic, pleeeeeease.

The other day, we did manage to step outdoors for the first time together. It was a bright winter's afternoon and we ventured the buggy out and ate lunch at a nice local restaurant. The was quite an adventure for us and Aimee seemed to fall instantly asleep in the pram, despite the cold. The whole trip lasted amybe 1.5 hours but exhausted us. That afternoon, when we got home, we completely zonked out and slept for 3 hours. Luckily, Mother in Law was on hand to look after Aimee while we rested.

An eventful day

One of the joys of having a newborn is that you get to show off your pride and joy to close friends and relatives. Yesterday my sister came round to visit from Thailand and she seemed to love little Aimee, depsite her screaming and crying. After a short while of getting acquainted, Aimee took to the arms of Sylvie and fed like a trooper. She'll have to get used to the company as Aimee has a lot of aunties and uncles. Yesterday was quite a crowd actually, with my parents, sister, Cat's Mum, Cat and me all in one room. Aimme didn;t seem to care long as she had a bottle to feed from.

Textbooks - throw them all away!
I'm having a textbook versus instinct debate with Cat at the moment. For me, I beleive Aimee should feed every 3-4 hours no matter what. Cat feels Aimee should be allowed her five - six hour sleep if needs be (books and the midwife advise against this), or two hour feed if that is what she wants. I am nervous about letting Aimee sleep too long for fear of her missing a feed and getting dehydrated. Last night, we did it my way, I woke Aimee up after five hours of sleeping had elapsed. Darn! I paid the price with three hours of crying hysterics after a copious feed and nappy change. So today, we do it Cat's way and feed on demand and leave well alone if sleeping for long periods. If the weather is nice, we may even venture outdoors for a stroll in the pram for the first time.

Aimee is now two weeks old. It's amazing to think we have survived two whole weeks. The first week was definitely the toughest days of my life - and of Cat's. No amount of planning can prepare the first time parent for this period.
But we have found that each day gets a tiny bit better. We learn and discover new things about coping with Aimee. We hope also that Aimee is learning to trust us and certainly seems a bit calmer.
The trick is always trying to decipher her cries. Nappy changing and hunger is fairly obvious, but we are learning that around 7pm each night, she simply gets bored and cries unless you take her around to other rooms in the house and play with her. After that, she is fine.
I'm not saying it will be easy from now on, but today seems a watershed. Cat and I will leave the house to go out and do some shopping for the first time since Aimee was born. Tonight, I may even go back to doing some jujitsu. Our lives are sort of coming back together again, and it is some relief. But as ever, Aimee comes first. She always will.

Games

Aimee is getting bigger by the day. You can't imagine such a little one can have such a personality. Just now, I dropped some Infacol into her mouth (anti-colic medicine), she tasted it and then jammed her mouth closed so I could not administer the second drop. Then she just stares at you with intense suspicion. You should see her actually yell 'No!' whenever Cat introduces her nipple. She shakes her head from side to side and screams Noooooo. I thought babies could not talk? But when she feeds, she clasps her little hands together just as if she is praying - so cute you have to see it.
Right now, our new game is wake daddy up at 4am and scream blue murder until he cuddles her on his chest. then, paranoid that he will fall asleep and drop her, poor daddy has to lie there motionless until the next feed (3 hours).



But for a 13 day-old baby, she seems to take a keen interest in visual and aural stimuli. Cat brought out a musical playmat which makes sounds when touched. Aimee, visibly appeared to enjoy the mat and, whilst too young to smile, did kick her legs and arms around with gleeful abandon - either that or her nappy was filling up.

Express Service

I'm glad Cat can laugh in the face of adversity. These past couple of weeks have seen some quite trying times and Cat has always pulled through. She's a strong person, characteristics that seemingly have been transfered to our little one.
Today, Cat yelled for me to come over as she was showering. Oh no, I thought, an accident? No, Cat called to show me how her nipples were lactating in response to the noise of the shower. The milk from her breasts were gushing outwards in unison with the shower!
Then later, as she was feeding Aimee with the bottle, Cat was leaking so much milk she was drenched and we had to change the entire bed sheets. Mother nature is a wonderful thing - but she sure is messy!



Poor Aimee has developed acne. Yes, acne just like a teenager. Apparently it is very common in young babies but it looks awful. It covers her nose half way across her cheekbones and sopme on her forehead. There is no solution other than to cleanse with sterile water everyday and hope it goes away. We reckon it started the moment she went on to all-breast milk diet. Cat's hormones must be having an effect. But we hope it won't last and the benefits of breast diet must outweigh these drawbacks.



I eventually got round to unboxing my new camcorder and have been shooting pics of Aimee's many contorted facial features as she is held by various people. The most amusing incident was when I jokingly narrated that she looked like she was about to explode a bowel movement, and right on cue, she produced a massive stinker of atomic proportions. I refrained from filming the nappy change. Some things should never be seen.

NappiesR us

There is a rite of passage that every man dreads but most must go through at some stage - the nappy change. I am not a big fan of the poo. The wee is ok, though time it wrong and you end up with a lot of wet clothes. No, the poo is at one fascinating (all those colours I never thought possible) and horrid - she can fill her pants literally in the space of one minute. A breast milk diet is known to lead to copious and explosive bowel movements. Speed is of the essence with these big mummas.
But I thought I would be more squeamish and reluctant than I have been. Maybe it is one bonus to be had from sleep deprivation - you simply have no energy to think about things, you just do it.
The midwife weighed Aimee and she is now 7lb9oz. She has gained a full pound in 9 days. Phenomenal growth spurt - and looks like no signs of slowing down as she is gulping down the milk at an astounding rate - 3.5fluid oz every three hours on the dot.
The past two days have been good. As long as we maintain the milk flow and get it to her within two minutes of her crying, she is mostly a happy and contented baby. But the old wind factor is a bugger. Too much gulping or crying leads to wind, which manifests as a three hour screaming session - usually at 2am.

But she seems to be growing daily and that gives us pleasure. Cat and I convince ourselves she is starting to recognise who is who. If I speak in corner of the room while Cat is holding her, Aimee will turn her head in my direction. I cannot wait for her to smile and laugh. This stage is around five to six weeks away.
I'm off to buy a camcorder now. Sadly, my present one let me down and is busted. SoI will have to preserve moving memories of Aimee's first week in my brain.

One week old

Aimee celebrated her one-week old birthday with a two hour sleep and three hour screaming session - all this at 1am. Well you can't say we weren't warned (about the sleepless nights and unsolvable screaming).

There are so may deep issues that I have come across when concerned with baby care. Issues which divide people and cause arguments amongst professionals and parents alike. One is the breast feeding issue. There is no doubt that breast milk is indeed best. But what if your child refuses to take to the breast. Bottles are convenient and save on sore cracked nipples and 1-hour to 2-hour feeding cycles.
Cat was too ill to breast feed for the first two days of Aimee's life. Ther staff at hospital fed her bottled formula milk. Our attempts at weening her onto the real thing have proved a frustrating, tearful and unproductive experience. Sure, we could continue various tactics, but it is incredibly stressful for all. Already we tried cold turkey - denying her food untiul she caved in (you know who won that one), we tried deception (silicone teats which attach to the breast) - yeah like she was fooled, not; we also tried cup feeding to stop her relying on the bottle - a horrid messy practice that causes untold amounts of wind and pain for the baby.
Now we are resigned to a cycle of bottle feeding her Cat's expressed milk. So, our clockwork regime goes like this:
1. sterilise equipment
2.express milk
3. Store milk
4. Warm milk (when baby needs feeding)
5. Feed milk
6. Wash and sterilise bottles
7. back to step one.

This regime is no respector of day or night. It takes an extra pair ofhands from Cat's mum to ensure that we both actually get something to eat and something clean to wear.

Another major issue for debate seems to be the dummy - or soothers. Whether to soothe or not.
Many experts seem to suggest never give your child a soother, she will grow up with a deformed mouth, hideous teeth or some other fact to scare the living daylights out of new parents.
Other's say nonsense and a soother is good way of calming a baby earnestly seeking something to suck on for comfort, instead of food. A babyin the womb naturally sucks on her hand for comfort so when she does not get this in the real world, you get screaming and upset.
We'll try the soother over short periods to see if it helps. But all the time, you are aware of the fact that you might be doing something wrong.

Doula suggests we try the dummy, or even my little finger, as a soother. She also suggested waking her to feed every three hours to ensure she doesn't get so hungry during the night. It would also perhaps time shift her fretful period to a more parent friendly late evening, instead of mid early morning.

Nothing tests your reserves of patience or tolerance more than a baby wailing at top volume,only for her to notch it up a gear yet again.

I have more things to get off my chest, but right now, guess what? It's off to sterilise some bottles and pump some milk like a hand maiden. Poor Cat, she was born the sign of the buffulo you know. She says she certainly feels like one.

A windy day

Yesterday (Thursday - six days after her birth) was a good day. Aimee slept through three and five solid hour shifts and we had time to catch up on mail, pressies, food, a little sleep, some TV and even have a giggle at our hapless antics. My Mum anbd Dad came round to see a sleeping peaceful little baby girl.
But come 2am this morning, all hell broke loose. Aimee could not stop crying, even after a good feed, nappy change and lots of soothing and rocking. She cried - screeched more like - for about an hour. Eventually she got to a more restful phase with my patent sounds of the womb noises - ie me uttering white noiuse from my mouth. She fell asleep on my chest and I placed her in the crib. 5am, she woke again. Feed, nappy change and soothing this time went no where. She was even louder if that could be possible. MIL took charge and gently got her to sleep, but even this took her remarkable skills a good hour to achieve. The result, all of us in a serisouly poor mood this morning, when Aimee decided it was breakfast time at 9am. Meaning we all got a total of maybe 3 hours poor quality sleep last night.
I thought Aimee might be suffering colic. Certainly by the way she spasms up her little body with the wailing, you can tell she is in pain. But all our attempts at winding induce further wriggling and wailing. I spoke to doula about this and she said that it was not likely to be colic, not for such a young baby, but it was wind and that we were doing the right thing by trying to wind her, but perhaps were wrong in keep changing the winding position or passing her from person to person. Thisonlyprolongs to agony. She told us to stick to one position, hold tightly, maybe sway, and don;t change until she calms and falls into the first phase of sleep. When she twitchesor protests slightly, that is the time to change position. Babies usually protest three times when in one position, before calming down. We have to listen to the changein breathing before knowing she has entering deeper sleep. That is the time to put her down in the crib.
Well, all this info is a lot of new information for my sleep deprived brain to take in. So I'll sign off fow now while I have thechance.

Sleep, pleeeeeeeease!!!

Oh my god. 6 days later and I am totally shattered. This is a war zone. Even with Mother in Law to help, we are being ground down by the relentless pace of baby things. EVERYTHING is concerned with the welfare of the baby. You end up with NO TIME to do anything else. No time to eat properly, definitely no sleep, no tidying, even going to the loo is a exercise in correct timing. Get anything wrong and you end up with 2 hours of ear-piercing wailing that no amount of rocking and soothing can heal. It is FOOD NOW or you get my screaming for eternity.
Plus, I am dealing with trying to get Cat strong again. The labour and subsequent surgeryt and loss of blood have wekaneed her considerably. Physically she is porrly and emotionally, she feels she missed out as there was not time forher to bond straight after the birth. It has been soooooo tough.
Then there is the blasted issue of breast feeding. At hospital, since Cat was recovering and not able to bond or breast feed properly for three days. The midwives said it wsa ok to feed Aimee (sorry, forgot to say, that is now her name) on bottled baby milk. Of course now, she refuses anyting except a certain teat from the bottle. We did cold turkey on Tuesday. Man, that was awful. 16 hours of wailing screaming, wriggling, protesting, this kid is TOUGH! In the end we capitulated and gave her the bottle. After that - no problem. But we were gutted and emotionally wrecked by the experience.
But there is a light at the end. Cat's breast milk has come in and is copious enough to fill a bottle for one feed at a time. We could try breast later on but I think it is a gonna. But at least she is drinking mother nature's finest for some of her feeds. We also have a doula who has offered great advice. MIL still insists on helping with everything. My family help too and mny close friends have offered words of comfort and solidarity from the other dads I know.
I am so touched by the wonderful help and support from our friends and relatives.
To even get the chance to post piccies and write this blog has been a minor miracle so far. I hope and pray that things get easier and we don't make any mistakes.
We have many many more obstacles and trials to come. I am not ashamed to say that at several points this week, I havebroken down sobbing uncontrollably at the difficulty of it all. To see Cat in such poorly state, to run around like a madman warming, sterilising, mixing, nappy changing, venturing to shops to purchase more baby things, it is relentless.
I will report soon at my nextbreak on how things are going.
Off to Mothercare now...more damned nappies!!!

A Baby is born!

Wow! It’s finally happened and what an amazing, drama-filled night we just had. The result, a beautiful and healthy little baby girl.



Here is the detailed account (warning, quite gory in places)

The beginning
At 3am Friday morning Cat showed signs of blood. Fresh blood not old blood. This is usually not a good sign so we went to hospital to get it checked out. No worries there. The heartbeat monitor revealed baby was happy and an internal examination showed Cat was actually 1cm dilated and beginning the first stage of labour. Great news and we now knew the crazy rollercoaster ride was about to begin.

For some reason, the doc wanted to make sure Cat’s labour would progress faster than it already was. Perhaps because she was a week over. The doc rather forcefully initiated a ‘sweep’ (manual prodding of the cervix which makes the body release hormones which begin contractions). The procedure itself was very painful and Cat was not pleased, but what it did do, seemingly within minutes, was start her contractions off – and most painful they were too.

We got home about 6am. Of course, any hope of sleep or rest was quickly dashed. These contractions, although erratic, were filling our thoughts. We were told to wait for them to even out to about one every four minutes, and each one lasting about 45 seconds or more.

My Mum was called and she turned up around 9.30am, a backpack full of acupuncture needles. Soon, Cat resembled a poor hedgehog as Mum tried to administer pain relief, Chinese style. The pain was stronger and stronger and by 2pm, the contractions got down to one every three minutes. A panicky call to the hospital and they tried their best to dissuade us from coming in. We had to make sure that the 3 minute contractions continued over the next two hours. Darn! Poor Cat could not stand the pain. But we duly waited. A hot bath did not really help, apart from act as a diversion and give us something to do.

Two hours later, we called and again, they tried their best to make us wait longer but this time I insisted she be taken in. The pain was unbearable. In our minds, we imagined the baby coming very soon. After all, contractions every 3 minutes is surely near the end? Little did we know the drama about to unfold.

The Hospital
We got admitted at 6pm and seen to by a midwife. Bad news. Cat was still only 1cm dilated. Our hearts sank. After 12 hours of contractions and pain, no progress had been made. The reason – her cervix was posterior, which I guess meant it was facing the wrong way. Surely they would not turn us away again? But the midwife could see Cat was in pain and promised she would be kept on ward. Each contraction brought more pain, and with the added suggestion that this whole process could take many many hours if not days, poor Cat was almost defeated before she began.

Suddenly, blood seemed to be oozing out. Each contraction brought an even stronger wave of pain and more blood soaking the pad to saturation. Surely this was not normal. The midwife came in to check. She looked concerned and worried. The doctor on hand was called in, no one knew why Cat was bleeding like this. The stirrups were up and the doc had to break the waters to examine where the bleeding was coming from. Another internal examination (these things are not pleasant at all) and the doc gave Cat the all clear. The blood was due to her cervix suddenly going from 1cm dilation to 5-6cm in the space of an hour or so. Way quicker than normal. And the pressure build up caused the bleeding.

After this little dramatic episode, Cat went back to contracting as normal. The gas and air mouthpiece was taking a battering, but seemed to be doing the trick, despite her obvious pain. Then after about an hour and half, the midwife examined her again. A big smile stretched across her face: yep, she could start pushing.

Blimey, already! Cat in her delirium seemed pleased to be progressing but there was a catch – no laughing gas whilst in the pushing phase. She was upset, but gritted her teeth and pushed with all her might on each contraction. The poor girl’s face blew to Mount Etna proportions of effort and fire. My Mum and my hands were left withered by Cat’s tremendous grip each time. Down, down, push, down, harder, harder. Screeeeeeeeeeeam!

But no, baby head not coming out. Midwife was worried that the contractions were too short for Cat to make the most of her push. So a drip was suggested. This drip is a drug that makes the contractions stronger and longer. Cat, despite being delirious, immediately knew this also meant, more pain, WAY more pain. The threat of the drip seemed to do the trick. On her next push, baby was out!

The aftermath.
It all happened so quickly. Our baby flew out into the midwife’s arms and onto Cat’s belly. A hearty lungful of screaming from the baby and wide stunned eyes meant all was well and healthy. Cat, my Mum and I were overjoyed. All this within 5 hours of first being admitted was very quick indeed. I thought that it was lucky we did not wait any longer at home before coming to hospital. Lucky indeed because what happened next was quite horrible. After the placenta came out, the midwife noticed some excess bleeding and took a look. Maybe a tear in the perineum she thought. And indeed she was right. Not pretty, but standard fare. But I saw her face change and she was panicking. This was way too much blood and it was spurting out – a sign of a ruptured blood vessel. Emergency buttons were pressed, suddenly the room was filled with medical staff and once again, Cat’s legs were unceremoniously thrust up on stirrups and spotlights put on. The doc looked closely, too much blood to see clearly but she counted two major tears of the insides. The one seeping blood needed to be sewn up and fast. Big needles of local anaesthetic and a rather crude suturing ensured Cat was stitched, but the doc warned that she had to rush off to see to an emergency C-section. It was chaos outside. But Cat’s second tear, although much larger, needed an epidural and theatre operation to ensure it was fixed but there was no time now to do it.

What!??? No time? We were left there, helpless like the crying newborn in Cat’s arms. The midwife didn’t know what was happening either. I could not get answers.
Cat seemed stable, but in a lot of pain. My curiosity ensured I got a very good view of the problem and it was not a pretty sight. In fact, it was pretty close to a horror movie special effects workshop. I was suitably horrified.

The anaesthetist came in and talked to Cat about the epi. Cat had always wanted to avoid this procedure but now, after all her hard efforts, it was going to be given anyway. We all prepared for the surgery she was about to have. I was beside myself with worry, and only the little bundle of joy, now in my arms as Cat was too gone, saved me from panicking.

But something strange happened. The room went very quiet. The staff were off elsewhere tending to another emergency. The baby was content and just studying her funny father’s face. Cat was half knocked out but fairly ok. My Mum was just holding Cat. All this time, I was too busy being concerned about all the flapping and commotion to take a break and realise that now, today, I was a father! The room was calm and peaceful.

The doors opened, uh-oh, here we go I thought. Poor Cat was going to be sliced and diced and there was nothing I could do about it. But it was not the surgeon, or the anaesthetist. It was a middle aged woman who swaggered in, cheerful as the morning sun. ‘Hello, I’m a passing consultant obstetrician’ she boldly announced herself. ‘Let ME take a look at you.’

She ummed and arghed. ‘I can sew this up in about ten minutes if you like, no need for an epidural and theatre for this’
Wow, finally, something goes right. The consultant went to work and did her job in speedy and ultra proficient time. A small crowd of staff looked on, amazed at her skills. Clearly this was someone who really knew what they were doing. As she tugged and pulled at bits of flesh and stitching, she looked rather like a concert pianist. Especially as she was a bit posh. I looked on too. My science photo library training meant that I simply had to take a look, and she was happy to show me all the gory, but strangely beautiful inner details or my poor wife. Basically, she explained, the baby came out in such a way that her arm had punched a hole through the insides of Cat’s uterus. I was shown the hole. Yes, there was big tearing, but this doc cleaned it up and although she said it would not ever look the same, she felt she did a pretty good job. And of course, saved Cat from a trip to the theatre to be stitched up by less experienced (and probably overly tired) hands.

So there we were. Exhausted but elated. Our baby was calm and quiet. She alternated between sleeping and wakefulness. But not being too distressed by all the commotion. She has very oriental eyes and light, slight curly brown hair – now which of her parent’s could they possibly be traits of? She weighed either 3kg2 or 7lb2oz depending on which you believe the faulty NHS scale to be telling the truth. Birth time was 11.35pm Friday, 18th November 2005.

Her name is yet to be decided.

At 5am Saturday morning, my Mum and I finally left to go home and get some shuteye. Cat was wheeled to the ward to stay over for several nights. She is happy and well. I am so happy, I cannot think straight suffice to say, it was a big help writing this blog over the past nine months. I hope to carry on revealing the growing pains of baby Yangster.

I would also like to thank the staff at our hospital who gave us much care and attention and ensured Cat was given the best care possible. Despite being manically busy, they dealt with the situations very well.

Well, the due date has been and gone without incident. To be expected I suppose. But the weight of anticipation is a real burden I am not enjoying. Added to that are the almost constant, though well meaning, enquiries from friends, colleagues, relatives about whether or not you've given birth yet. I feel terrible, as if I am letting people downby constantly saying 'No, not yet'.

Cat has been rather fed up and hormonal at home. Today she admited to feeling very angry, for no reason. I told her to don some boxing gloves and smash something. She chose to eat copious chocolate instead. It seemed to do the trick and the happy soul was back when I returned home...phew. The little monkey inside her is clearly finding it very cramped these days, and kicks in protest - usually at night so she can wake Cat up. A taste of things to come.

A heart beat away

Exactly one week to go now until D-date. There is a nice calm in our lives at the moment- calm before the storm perhaps?

The pram shenanigans came to a head on Saturday. After calling and calling the past week (their phone doesn't accept incoming calls) we decided to pay the shop a visit. It was shuttered - a bad sign. Some investigating with the next doors shop and it seems they are still open, but very erratically and clearly not today. I suspect they are going bust. Damn them, they've taken my £50 deposit - they're stealing from my kid!!
So anyway, we traipsied off yet again to Mothercare and bought the Inglesina - which was the original one we were gonna get in the first place - only it is now £50 cheaper! So I guess I haven't lost any money really.
It's great, one pull of a handle and click, it opens up into a full on buggy. One pull of a handle and shazam, it collapses back into a mini-golf bag which stands-up vertically. The only problem is that the car seat doesn't fit our back seats, only the front passenger seat.

Last night when I placed my ear close to Cat's belly, I swear I could hear the baby's heart beat. It's very fast. I thought I could also hear her move around - it soundz kind of like dunking your head under the bath and then moving the water with your hands or feet. I could also hear another sound, a regular heart-beat-like whooshing. This I assume ot be Cat's blood supply into the placenta. An incredibly strong and pulsating sound, different to listening to a normal heartbeat. I apologised to Cat for making her my personal biology experiment, but she seemed to take delight in my delight.

Hadn't felt the baby move for a few days so we got a littl worried. Cat was given an immediate appointment at the hospital and the scan showed everything was fine. The baby does still move and kick quite a bit but as she is kicking the placenta and not the tummy wall, Cat can't feel it, and not can I. Reassuring anyway.

Damn pram still not arrived at the store.

The books often explain about the sleepless nigths due to restless sleep, or frequent loo breaks, but one thing Cat has recently been doing is waking up feeling massively hungry. Typically it will be around 5am and she'll jump out of bed, noisely raid the kitchen for biscuits or cornflakes which she then takes back to crunch away in the bed. I in the meantime have fullen woken by now.

Mum is doing acupuncture on Cat now. She reckons that it will ease the labour.

Mmmmm nutritious Hog Roast from Broadway Market.

Cat now enters the next chapter of her pregnancy and has just left
work to go on maternity leave. This is a full four weeks before the
due date, but she thought, with the eternal struggle of commuting
and the fact that she has plenty of holiday leave she has to take,
why not?
Today’s antenatal check up revealed that everything was normal
and the little one is now 3/5th engaged into the pelvis. My active
imagination immediately starts to picture a mole like creature
burrowing her head deeper into the sand. The midwife confirmed
yet again that the baby IS normal sized for her development –
despite the fact that Cat has the smallest pregnant bump anyone has
ever seen. Compact seems to be the universal comment from
everyone.
Buggypram thing still not arrived at the pram shop. Why does it
have to take so long? I ring up for the third time – I’m not sure they
know how to handle customers on the phone, all this new
technology seems all a bit scary to them. Heaven forbid they might
actually have email one day. Anyway, we quench our thirst for baby
goods by buying yet more essential items from Mothercare World.
That Edmonton retail park boasts some of the highest concentration
of warehouse retail outlets in London, including Ikea, which we
also went and spent all our money in.
All seems so calm and quiet, guess we better make the most of it
while it lasts.

nappy rush

We suddenly felt the urge to learn how to put on a nappy. So, with a freshly bought pack of newborn baby naps and a handy gorilla toy, we tried out our first dummy run.First problem - which way round does it go?Luckily, this did not stump us too long as the nappy is contoured to fit a baby's anatomy so it was obvious the more generous portion of the fold belonged to the behind side of the bottom.Second problem, how do we undo the sticky tabs? We were picking and peeling away for ages when all it needed was a swift pull of the whole tab to unfurl the bits needed. We felt a little dumb.The rest was plain sailing, mainly cos our toy gorilla did not put up much of a fight and we stuck the nappy on in one go. Easy. The only prob was that one of the sticky tab is now stuck partially to the gorilla fur and I fear baldness should it be removed. so, there it remains.



Our next task is to learn to clean the poo. An empty icing dispenser and choclate flavoured toothpaste are our props. We'll le tyou know how we go.

Fretting

Cat was fretting last night, anxious about the impending day of labour. She was most fearful about the docs and midwives doing things to her without her knowledge or consent. Things that could damage her SPD hips so she may never walk again. I think this was sparked off by our antenatal class about inductions and forceps delivery. The midwives showed fairly graphically what the procedures involved and the images have clearly stuck in Cat’s head for a while.
I guess this is at the stage where most mums to be experience strong feelings of anxiety and doubts. My few words of support didn’t seem to help much but after this morning’s appointment with the antenatal clinic her concerns were answered by the consultant doctor himself! A real privilege since he is usually ‘unavailable’. He reassured her that nothing was done without Cat’s consent but he offered her an extra appointment with the antenatal physio to determine Cat’s hip details on record. The midwife palpated cat’s belly and confirmed that all was well. In fact the baby was already beginning to descend her head lower into the pelvis and was the correct way up – ie down. It is unlikely that she will then change her position and enter into a breech position. Positive news at least.

Kompakt

Compact - that's the word the midwife used to describe Cat's belly. As you can see here:

I personally wonder if the staff at Asdachav will think she is nicking a watermelon under her jumper.

13 September 2005
A busy baby weekend for us - we had the second of our designated four antenatal classes – this time about pain relief. The options are varied, from nothing, to gas and air, to pethadine to the dread edepidural. Damn! You should see the size of that needle. It is huge! Cat saw it, rushed to the loo, and feinted. She is not a big fan of needles but the sight of that one would have hardened men crying.The midwife knocked down assumptions that it was bad for the back etc. She stated that epidurals in themselves were painless when administered and not bad for you. Unfortunately, the not being able to walk for 10 hours was the cause of back pain afterwards. In any case, Cat instantly dismissed the thought of an epi.
Later on we went pram shopping. Like shopping for a car, buying apram is a considered affair with many visits to various‘showrooms’ and testing out, plus discussion of relevant merits ofdifferent models. In the end we found the model we liked in a littleshop on Chrisp Street Market, near Docklands. The Jane Carrera could fold into something like the size of a golfing umbrella yet could hold all manner of attachments and seating options. And, like a true vehicle purchase, the deciding factor for us was the colour –a deep Mediterranean red that we instantly fell in love with.Finally, after a busy weekend, we sat down to relax – until Cat noticed that her breasts were secreting a clear fluid. Oh my God surely the milk hasn’t arrived already??? We scanned our various pregnancy books for an answer and sure enough, described in medical detail, this was in fact very normal and quite expected at this point in the term. So that was a relief.

Back to School

Cat and I attended our first antenatal class today. At 10.30am about a dozen nervous looking first-time parents-to-be shuffled into the room and sat down - as far away as possible from the midwife, well until the only seats left were those right next to her. Of course since we were late, we sat right next to her.
Her, was a midwife who spoke in plain terms the various things to expect during labour. It seems that no mater how much you read inbooks or listen from anecdotal stories, hearing the 'facts' about labour and birth from a woman who does this for a living is quite stark. Cat and I left the class with a strange feeling of, how can I put it nicely, I can't - we started shitting ourselves!
Maybe we were living in LaLa Land but it seems Cat and I were kind of mentally putting off thinking about the actual birth process. We often talk about what it's like to have a baby and how we should buy this and that, but for the past 7 months, the birth bit was deep in the denial part of our brains. It seems we were not alone in this as a casual chat to some of the others who attended showed up similar feelings. But, now that we were firmly brought forward to reality, we realised tat we really should start thinking about the birth process now. ie what pain relief to go for, whether a birthing pool is a good idea (it is) and what items to bring to the ward.
During the class, we were given a tour of the birthing unit. It was quiet, for a change, and very clean and functional. What was striking was that the midwife said that a low-risk normal birth means the mother gets dismissed after just six hours from birth. In the old days they kept you in for days! These days, I guess there is always another person to fill your slot.
Since we were both on a weird reality check frame of mind, we both headed straight for Mothercare and immediately started investigating prams. Of course Cat homed in straight away on the very expensive 3-1 travel stroller made by Italian firm Inglesina. Not as posh as a Quinny, but pretty up there. I have managed to persuade her that buying one off Ebay may help shave off a few pounds. We'll see.
A couple of things the midwife did say. One, that although labour and birth is painful, it is only one day in your whole life. The other thing we noted, and what probably sparked off our reality check, was that contractions could begin as early as 37 weeks. Since Cat is already 30 weeks, that really is a very short space of time away.

Tone deaf

I have discovered a new trick. The baby kicks in response to my singing. Probably to tell me to shut up. It began when Cat encouraged me to talk to the baby through her belly. So I put my mouth on the belly and began talking. Nothing happened, I got bored and hummed some inane tune, can't remember what but it was whatever was on the radio this morning - lo and behold, a hefty kick in my cheek. I continued with a medley of 80's hits and she responded with more thumps.
So far she seems to like songs that go up and down in scale rather more than long slow bluesy type songs. With this in mind, If I was a rich man, tends to get a response, but True by Spandau Ballet gets nadda. Any ABBA is warmly received, but silence on Elton John. I will begin to hum my more heavier classics such as Smoke on Water later, but right now, Cat can take no more of my tone deaf warblings.

26 weeks

Cat is one of the easiest people to draw a cartoon of. With her big smile, super curly hair and now, big tummy, I can't resist a cheeky sketch:



She just had her 26 week check up with the midwife today. All seems normal. Even the fact that she hasn't put on any weight. The midwife says they do not take into account body weight to check baby growth these days - it is all down to fundus size, which is measured directly over the tum.
We also got given a list of antenatal classes run by various midwives - which are four sessions covering basic relaxation, pain relief and tour of maternity unit. Sounds fairly ok to me as we wanted to do at least a minimum of antenatal classes, but we both didn't seem too keen on the full NCT 10 week course.
Well, the big day is drawing ever nearer and there is an increasing awareness from both of us to at least be seen to be preparing. So our name list is getting shorter, and our scan through the Mothercare catalogue is more earnest. But that's about the sum of our preparation so far.
I am sure there are couples out there who have already decked out their nursery and bought a zillion babyware. Not us, well, not yet.
On the issue of names, it seems that to satisfy both our personal favourites, we are now considering double barrelling the first name. Some combinations sound really nice - although a tad Southern Belle: eg Jamie-Lee or Anna-May (these not actual shortlist contenders).
We probably won't know what to name her until she arrives.

Mini-Cat-Phooey

The little one is kicking with real power now. When Cat is at rest, if you put your palm over her belly you usually don't have to wait more than a couple of minutes before you feel the characteristic rumppumpbump of multiple baby movements. At times, it is so strong that you can see the surface of her belly visibly move. I like to imagine her doing karate style air kicks and punches with a few Muay Thai style roundhouse elbows to boot.

There is an advert my Maltesers here in the UK in which a heavily pregnant women places said choccy item on her bellyonly for it to jump several inches into the air due to the baby kicking. I am not sure if that was set up or for real so I will definitely be trying that little experiment soon.

By popular request, I have finally uploaded the 20 week scan for all to see. It is not as clear as the 12 week on since she has obviously grown much bigger and I guess she moves around a lot, contributing to a fuzzy picture. But you can still see the head profile, belly, umbilical cord and internal organs.



Some have mentioned that the profile already looks like me, but I doubt that. People see what they want to see. It is a well known psychological phenomenon - for example seeing faces in clouds or fuzzy noise. The brain automatically interprets recognisable imagery out of chaos. Regardless of this - Cat and I still have fun playing the 'I wonder who she will look like the most' game, that all couples go through before their baby is born.

Well, it is not long now - only three and a bit months to go and the baby name still rages on.
Cat seems to hate all my suggestions so far and I have hers. We're hoping from inspiration from Dad, who returns from China soon, will help. But then again, it may add to the growing list of possibles.

So Do You?

The weather is seriously hot in London now. Not the greatest of weather to contend with when heavily preggers, especially in rush hour. I try my best to help - carrying bags, giving lifts in the car, but it would help if commuters were more alert and offered their seats up on the tube.
To be fair, in most cases, it only takes a few minutes for people to catch on, especially as Cat is now very good at making her presence known. But sometimes, a carriage full of people absorbed in their newspapers and magazines is tough to crack.

Cat's latest obsession is sudoku. A sort of crossword with numbers to guess and fill in the blanks. Devilishly simply by design, evil to finish quickly. I personally saty away from time-wasting activities like this, but Cat is totally obsessed. As you can see...



Maybe she is hoping to transfer some mathematical prowes to the baby by doing more puzzles.

The Day London was Bombed

Yesterday 4 terrorist bombs hit Central London. Cat and I were making our usual commute into town when we were evacuated from the central line at St Paul's. Little did we, or anyone, know of the scale of the horror. We simply put it down to the frequent tube disruptions that we Londoners cope with almost daily.
Cat got on a bus, I tried to walk towards Barbican. This was all around 9.30-9.40 am. Seven minutes later, the Tavistock Square bus exploded and all the buses and tubes were suspended. Cat made it to work and called me to warn me from taking any public transport. I was stuck in Bank and just walked all the way home, where I was shocked to see the events unfold on the TV news.
I have since been sat at home ruminating over the events. Those bombs could have been targetted anywhere. We were ALL targets. Someone I knew could have perished. My heart began to sink at the senselessness.
My Mum called in to report ok, as did Cat and both made it home ok too.

Maybe the events of the day got to me, maybe I do this all the time, but I did something bizarre last night:

In the middle of last night, I apparently broke into full song. I never knew I sleep talked but Cat was awoken by my singing. I was singing, in a loud voice, a made-up tune about hybrids, cloning and doing the washing up. It was so loud she was screaming at me to shut up. I even had a full conversation after the singing with me denying I was singing, apparently. I awoke in the morning totally unaware of all this but with her GLARING at me. It has taken a lot of apologies and pleading of innocence to get her to forgive me - oh and the washing up.

A small moment of humour during a bleak and depressing 24 hours.

Pink or blue?

Had our 20 week scan today. I was very surprised, although Ishouldn’t be, at how far developed the baby is compared to theprevious scan. You can really see everything from fingertips totoes, arms, elbows spine an’ all. The baby is in rude health and atone point, appeared to be sticking its finger towards us…nice! Catimmediately noticed that the facial profile resembled my face,including my distinctive generous upper lip. Something thatapparently I share with my dad and my sister.For the past few weeks Cat and I had been gently rallying likelynames back and forth. But the debate has hotted up recently. She strongly veers towards Chinese names and I towards Gaelic names.I do agree that the baby should have a Chinese name, but as amiddle rather than main name. Not everyone can ready Pin Yin andpronounce it correctly.The name issue would only be relevant if the baby was to be a girlsince we have already decided on a boy’s name. A name that is laiddown in my Father’s family tree. But we were fairly convinced thebaby would be a boy so did not seriously debate the girl’s names.Well… the scanner operator told us that we would have a girl, sonow the race to find a name we both agree on begins.

Mrs and I are back refreshed from a little break in Crete. The island and in fact Greeks are wonderful. The climate, food, scenery all of it wonderful. The only downer was the so-called 5 star resort which hated, but Cat thought was ok. There were too many dodgy things going wrong and it was expensive and not at all what I expected. Still, I got myself a decent tan and Cat enjoyed a break from work.
Just now, lying in bed, I put my hand onj Cat's belly and we both think we felt a little kick from the baby. Just a tiny movement, but definitely there. A nice if slightly weird feeling.
Tomorrow will be our 20 week scan where the operator may tell us the gender of the baby.

Well, the nausea period is over and Cat is happily getting on with things as normal. Or so we thought until she was walking home the other night and rather fooloshly carrying loads of paperwork home. The weight of thebags caused her to suddenly develop abdominal pains. So painful that she had to stop by the roadside, rather helpless. I of course was off doing jujitsu so poor Cat had to crawl back home literally slow step by slow step.
A consultation with the doctor later suggested that she refrain from lifting any weight at all, and taking it incredibly easy due to her hip problems.



Well, the bump seems to be showing slightly now. I am not sure if Cat is big or small for her stage of the pregnancy, but it seems big enough for most, though not all, punters on the tube to notice and give up their seat for her. In fact it's a nice way to strike up conversations with strangers on the underground - who are usually more than full of their own advice and experiences with pregnancy.

Next week we are off for a week to Crete, a bit of Sun and Sea should work wonders and restore Cats wellbeing to full effect.

Chav fight

Yesterday was a pivotal moment in the development of the pregnancy. For the first time ever, both Cat and I had realised that her baby bump was definitely showing now. It’s an appealing low angle curve that is quite different to simply having a pot belly!
One of the downsides to pregnancy is the hormone induced mood swings. Cat was involved in a tete-a-tete whilst in the queue at Hennes. One young lady decided to push in front of Cat and she of course took offense to the cheek. Words were exchanged and hands waved in front of faces. All very Jerry Springer. These things always happen when I am not around..not that I would have done anything.Still, the good news is that the midwife has visited and conducted a full battery of tests. All seems good and she has even booked Cat in for some specialist physio to ease her SPD hip disorder.

An eventful day in the baby-making world today. First off, congratulations to my friends Rich and Adrianna who just had a baby girl. The only words my pal could say on the phone was "it's huge...it's absolutely huge!"
Yep, at 9lbs11Oz, his petite tiny wife delivered a big healthy baby. I may have caught a delerious but overly tired proud father, but I'm sure he said the labour was 70 hours long. Excuse me, but 70 hours is like three days!!! That's a lot of pushing.

Well, the Mrs and I went in to hospital to get our official 12 week scan. The previous one was just a pre-scan test to ensure everything was ok, hence no measurements were taken.
This time, we got a longer period where the scanner operator exaplained all the measurements she was making and all the organs she could see. I promise not to keep posting endless ultrasound pictures on this blog, but I can't help studying this picture, it's obvious to see just how much the baby has grown in one month.



The head is obvious. In the centre is one arm, waving it's wee fingers. I like to think it's saying hello, but it is more likely protesting at our naked instrusion. At the other end you can one leg raised in the air. The little critter was certainly kicking a storm when the ultrasound was first in place. Mind you, a still frame does not do the experience any justice. You have to see the baby moving, kicking, flapping around - even though it is grainy b/w, you can see everything.

At 12 weeks, the most important measurement taken is the nuchal fold. The tiny flap of skin just behind the neck. If it is 3mm or over, the percentage chance of a Down's syndrome is higher. Our baby was 1.6mm. It's not a guarantee, but the chances of conceiving a baby with trisomy falls to a 1 in 4000. This is considered low risk.

To be honest, I could only take the operator's word for it, cos all I saw was lots of grainy footage. One thing was immediately obvious however - the heartbeat. Pulsating away like a little dynamo, it beats pretty fast - about twice that of a resting adult.

All the science and technology, for someone like me who is very used to this, is still a marvel to behold. I'm still in awe at seeing my little baby in all it's secret hidden glory. Our next scan is in 10-12 weeks where we have decided to ask to be told the sex of the baby.

In the meantime, the daily cycle for Cat of eat, sick, eat sick continues, though less extreme than before.

Big pram - Little pram

Mother in law (MIL) is knitting furiously away creating a whole wardrobe of baby clothes. I can’t help thinking that it is all a bit too premature since there are still over 6 months to go and what if things go wrong and we would be left with lots of baby things? But when I saw the miniature jump suits and cardies she created my heart melted and I was reduced to a cooing softie. They were indeed very cute although MIL has yet to perfect an appropriately sized bobble to go on the hat she made – it was far too large and looked like a football.

MIL also made us take home a Mothercare catalogue. I flicked through it and zeroed straight in on the guy stuff – PRAMS. Jeez this is a whole new world of technical gadgetry. I have yet to fathom just how much they seem to have changed since I remember them as a kid. Gone are the old fashioned Nanny prams. In come Formula One styled, aerodynamic, fold into any position contraptions. They are also very expensive – at least £200 for a basic and you tend to need all the extras like car seats, attachments etc which instantly doubles the cost.

I chatted on the subject with my German pal who’s baby daughter is just two weeks old. He already did a thorough research of the market and came to the conclusion that three wheelers, although trendy, were bad since they were unstable and were longer when folded, making fitting into the boot of a car much harder. He opted for a Swedish model which was remarkably unpretentious. Just a bog standard pram – which I thought no-one made anymore. He also got it second hand which he claims means less harmful fumes from the plastic and PVC than a brand new one. Typical scientist.
Speaking of prams. It seems Cat and I will eventually need an adult sized pram. One that has five doors and lots of room in the boot. I have my eye on a Renault Scenic as it is very stylish, fairly inexpensive. It’s one of those mini-MPV type cars that make you feel like there is lots of room inside (even though it is barely bigger than the Punto). I need to investigate more on prices, models and insurance before purchasing one.

Family Coincidences

Just heard the news that Cat’s cousin is to have a child due for early November too. So what, you might ask? Well, let’s look at the family history. Her father has only one sister. A sister who married around the same time I believe as her brother. Who has four children – the same number as in Cat’s family. They used to meet up loads as children so are a very close family – the number of coincidental similarities are too numerous to mention. Now – the baby thing! If I were a betting man, what do you think are the chances of our two babies being born on the same day???Morning sickness is being held at bay with combination of copious acupuncture courtesy of Mum and ‘ear seeds’. Small blobs that you stick to your ear and press on occasion to elicit movement of chi energy – or something like that. Seems to work as she is puking less, but still gets worn out come the evening.

First photo

As a precaution. The hospital gets Cat an earlier than usual scan. Here it is:



Happy birthday. Today you are 9 weeks and four days old.
Welcome to the world little baby.

An evening in the hospital

Cat suffered an episode of severe stomach pain on the way home tonight. A kind hearted stranger accompanied her in a taxi all the way to our home where I was waiting to whisk her to hospital.
Needless to say we were both very worried but a full battery of tests and prodding by the doc at Homerton Hospital ensured that all angles were covered. He found nothing wrong but recommended she get an ultrasound in the morning.
Cat thought her pain was a bout of urinary tract infection but the tests proved negative. So the pain was a mystery.
Luckily, the pain has now reduced to a low rumble of discomfort and I half joked that maybe it was wind.
The positive news to all this is that it was reassuring to see the mechanics of the hospital running with pretty good level of efficiency. It was almost as if we were practising some sort of dummy run, 7 months too soon. We also get to have an ultrasound scan earlier than expected so maybe for the first time I will see the little nipper in all it's foetal glory.

Chunder Express

Poor Cat. We thought we knew what morning sickness was all about when she has so far felt mildly queasy and nauseous. But oh no, today and yesterday has seen her head almost permanently glued to the toilet bowl, chucking up all her food, all her stomach acid and pretty much anything else to boot. It happens every few hours and means she could not even go to work.
She got so bad that I took her to the doctors and he diagnosed that she was dehydrated and prescribed some anti-nausea tablets.
Cat is reluctant to pollute her body with medicines so we called Mum and she came to treat her with acupuncture. It seemed to do the trick temporaily and just now, has managed to nibble on a tiny bit of Ryvita and two of my tortellini pasta pieces - her first solid food for over 24 hours.
Crossed fingers, hope this morning sickness ting passes by quickly.

A Taste of things to come

Cat and I travelled down to Wales over the weekend to visit my friends and their 15 month ‘baby’. I say baby – but at 15 months old this girl was already running around like a toddler and commanded a vocabulary bigger than most people on a Monday morning. She is a delightful, playful, loving, bundle of fun and we had a great weekend. But it was clearly very hard work as just one look at my friends, with their happy but worn out expressions said it all. I was surprised to note how many tumbles and falls she took, some of them alarmingly hard, but she simply got up and carried on her activities without a blink. Clearly she was made of hard stuff.

It was a nice introduction to life in the company of a small child. I don’t think for one minute it will be easy, but on the other hand, I think I get on well with the idea of being a parent. I really like children and their playful innocence. Even the mini-tantrums and tears did not grate on my nerves as I thought it might. Of course I may have to eat my words come the time when I too am knee deep in poo, vomit and nappies.The weekend was nice for Cat too as she could get all the sympathy and wisdom of a person who has only recently been through all that before.

I finally have got round to using Cat's digital SLR. It is a technological thing of beauty and takes simply wonderful pictures. I can't believe I have persisted with my hack of a camera before. My friend told me he brought his videocamera to hospital the day after his wife gave birth and thus began his record of events - he has reems of tapes of his daughter growing up and looking back, he says, it never ceases to amaze them how fast she grows. I too will now record these momentous events in my life having got the hang of the SLR.

Handbags and Gladrags

This stage in the pregnancy is a difficult time. Too early to have anything to show but too far gone to reverse the
full throes of 'morning' sickness and fatigue. Speaking of which, that girl sure can sleep!Over this Bank Holiday weekend, it seems she slept as many hours in the day as night. Certainly an unusual development for Cat since she is always the first out of bed and never usually tires. There is also another new development, something I call - Bad Things Paranoia. There is a scene in the Ricky Gervais Office Xmas special where the pregnant office colleague makes a big scene out of two working staff who are smoking next to her. They tell her
in no uncertain terms to get off and that they couldn't give two hoots about her pregnancy.It is true, that for most first time Mums-to-be, the new found status means that anything and everything must now involve her, and her unborn baby.For Cat, she is most anxious about the evils of cigarette smoke. We went out the other night to a restaurant and all
she could think about was whether anyone would be smoking. Later this week, she is due to meet up with her girly friends, again, she is very worried about lengthy periods sat in a smoky room.On the bus the other day, two rather rough looking badass men started lighting up next to her and she shouted at them that she was PREGNANT and NO could they PLEASE STOP SMOKING. They ignored her while I shamefully cowered in the seat.

Spreading the word

We've slowly begun dropping the news to various close friends. It is always interesting to note their reactions. After all, why on Earth should anyone really care whether or not you are pregnant? But it seems the delight from our friends is genuinely heartfelt and the good wishes create a nice feeling. One friend from Germany seemed to jump with joy at the thought of a future British playmate for his own, not yet born child. Another friend, who also is expecting very soon, looked forward to social outings where these same-age kids could play together. One of Cat's friends couldn't stop texting her with her good wishes and we think it has boosted her own, well publicised, notions of broodiness (much to the chagrin of her boyfriend). Next week we'll be visiting my best man who doubtlessly will be full of advice and homespun wisdom as he had his first child only a year ago.
It seems, the world right now is filled entirely with parents and parents-to-be.
Today I wandered around an open air market and couldn't help but browse at the pushchair and buggy stall. I was half thinking - this is not right for me to be here - and half realising that, at 35, I am probably twice the age of some of the punters who are here!

Booby

One of the symptoms of pregnancy during the first trimester I have read, is the huge swelling of women’s breasts. Poor Cat, not the most light chested of women normally, has witnessed an almost overnight doubling in size of her breasts. I am truly transfixed by them. Whilst I might derive pleasure at the sight of these giant mammaries, Cat has to suffer the increased weight, pain and obstruction. None of her bras fit anymore and she has complained of feeling overweight and constantly nauseous. So to make her feel better, I volunteered to help her buy some new bras at M&S this weekend.
Who ever thought that lingerie sections of stores were a turn-on were obviously very sex starved or blind. They are dull, dull, dull. Somehow, they manage to sanitise and de-sex the whole lingerie thing into a bland consumable much like the rest of the M&S clothing collection. The sheer choice of bras on offer make it feel like you are in a low-cost supermarket. While Cat was busy trying on her numerous bra choices, I soon lost patience and retired downstairs to the Men’s section. I wish I hadn’t bothered, more V-neck pullovers and acrylic trousers than any sane person could bare. The sad thing is, I realise that soon (but I hope not too soon), I will be shopping for these very same blandables as middle age beckons and all sense of style and fashion is lost forever.

Water wings

Cat and I went swimming last night, in what must be the first time I have touched a chlorine pool in years. Many years.
York Hall in Bethnal Green is this very old building dedicated to boxing shows and Xmas panto, but adjacent to it is a pool and fitness room. Considering it is run by Tower Hamlets and is very old, the whole facility is not too bad. I have seen worse, but for £2.75 a swim, who’s complaining?My first few lengths were appalling, flapping and gasping for air, I genuinely thought I could knock off a few hundred metres in Olympic fashion when actually, I could barely make one length. It got better but my stamina was very bad. Cat on the other hand had one purpose in mind. To hold on the side and just paddle her legs, building up those all important hip, thigh and waist muscle groups. With her swim suit, tied back hair and ever present smile, she could pass off as a synchronised swimmer! Give it a few months and she’ll look like a very pregnant synchronised swimmer.

Ginger snaps

Cat reported the first symptoms of morning sickness. Actually it happened during the day, just after lunch and hasn’t abated since. The only respite is with a nibble of ginger biscuits, but it soon comes back. Constant nausea and occasional vomiting. Well, we were getting cocky thinking it wouldn’t happen, but it seems Cat is not immune to it. Morning sickness is described very much as like having travel sickness. In my case, I get extremely disorientated and nauseous playing first person computer games – so that’s the nearest I can empathise with. At least I can stop playing games, but Cat has to weather the storm all alone. Last night, we bought five packs of Ginger snaps and sweets. Funny cos Cat always liked ginger, but I can’t really stand the stuff.

Meet the (soon-to-be Grand) parents

Well this weekend was ‘tell the parents’ weekend. Or should I say
prospective grandparents. First off was the in-laws – Cat’s Mum and Dad. We went to visit them and broke the news simply with a ‘Cat’s pregnant’ mention over breakfast. Their response was about as animated and elated as I had ever seen them - ie not very. This is not to say they weren’t delighted, because they absolutely were. It is just that Cat’s Mum and dad have typical British reserved
response to things and simply do not leap up and down at any news. What we
got was a very reserved reply of ‘that’s nice dear!’ before moving on
to practical conversations about building drawbridge ramps across our awkward
staircase (belive me, you don’t want to know!)
Returning to London, we popped in to my parents and Cat devised a unique
way of informing them. My Dad has been spending the past few weeks translating and typing up our lengthy family tree. Cat was helping him type it out and casually dropped in the estimated birthdate and potential name of a
mystery 21st generation Yang. My dad looked puzzled at first by the print out and
then it clicked and he leapt up and down in excitement. My Mum was equally
delighted, though refrained from the leaping. Beaming smiles all round
though we did warn that at 6 weeks, we were letting them know early due tomy Dad being out of the country for several months.

All pain and all gain

Cat seems to think there is a pressing need to get fit. She’s certainly not maintained a fitness regime for quite some time and is worried that she won’t have the stamina for pregnancy. With the added worry of her loose hips (pubis synthesis) we have both embarked on a ‘get fit quick but without damaging the hips’ regime.
Every morning, we now walk to the tube. It takes about twenty minutes and we’ve had to take a longer route since the smell of morning traffic on the main roads is really repulsive. We are also going swimming. Not a favourite past-time for either of us, but it is good exercise for her joints and muscles without the load bearing. I don’t think she is taking her Pelvic floor exercises to seriously though and keep warning her she will have moments of incontinence if she doesn’t strengthen her muscles.This weekend, we will announce the news to close family. It seems the right thing to do. In any case, Cat is getting very bored with not telling anyone and feels the need to release. We’ll see how the others take the news.

Winds of change

I’ve been suffering from very bad sleep these past few days. Partly down to Cat’s restless sleep patterns (though she maintains she sleeps fine) and partly down to my bundle of worries. Over the weekend, we went to Borders and bought a small mobile library’s worth of pregnancy books. On the one hand these books provide us with knowledge and of course knowledge is good right? Well I guess so, but it also increases your anxiety as you learn more about the pitfalls and hurdles along the way.
Every minute I keep checking up on Cat, much to her annoyance, to see if she has any of the visible signs of early pregnancy, or if she feels a bit sicky, mood swings, or bloated etc. So far, the only symptom of her pregnancy is copious amounts of wind. Typical.
Dinner with my parents last night was agonising cos they were talking about making plans for the future and the prospect of kids and we were dying to tell them. But we agreed to wait…until next week! Some believe it is bad luck or too early to announce the news, but our family have always been very close and we reasoned it was better to tell them fairly early to ensure we get the best support. Plus, since my Dad is going away for many months, it was better he hear the news at home, rather than over a crackly phone.This morning, Cat stated that she no longer had a fear of giving birth – something she was very vocal about before. In fact, she felt very safe about the idea.

Marmite and Toast

We both find ourselves constantly occupied with thoughts about the big news. Our minds are brimming half with excitement, half with anxiety. To be honest, it still hasn’t sunk in. To help, I thought I should actually gen up asap on information, so off I trawled to the internet.

Well, apparently, Cat needed to have taken Folic Acid at least a month before conception. Something about preventing neural tubes abnormalities. Damn I thought, we’ve missed out on a crucial stage so I sent her out to immediately buy some tablets. Then I read that Marmite is fortified with extra Folic Acid. Now I felt guilty – all those months she happily snacked away with copious amounts of the black stuff on her toast while I spitted disgust at the foul tasting spread. With any luck, the Marmite will count towards her pre-conception dosage of folic acid.

The BBC website has a handy pregnancy calculator. Here was something else we did not know – pregnancy duration is calculated from the date of her last period, not from the moment of conception. That means that Cat is already five weeks pregnant. And the egg is already a dividing little ball of cells implanted into the womb. Fascinating. Like a real live biology class that will, cross fingers, last 9 months. The predictor suggests 8th November. Very close to my Mum’s own birthday. Now what are the chances of a birth falling on the same day as one of our parents? It’s happened before – Malcolm was born on the same day as his father’s father.

We are both very aware that it is still incredibly early days so the urge to tell all and sundry must be suppressed. But there is careful optimism already. Cat even suggested we take regular photos to chart her body as it changes. I went one further by suggesting a video diary. We’ll see how much cooperation I get when the mood swings set in a few weeks down the line!
Over the next few weeks. That small bundle of cells growing inside Cat will develop at a furious pace. We hope and pray that everything goes according to plan.

First entry - the big news

Just eight little letters signalled the beginning of the rest of my life. Those letters, spelled out as tiny black LCD dots, read one thing, one word I was really not expecting, but secretly hoping…pregnant.

For days now, Cat had been wondering if our one moment of unprotected husband-wife hanky panky would be enough to make her pregnant since it occurred on the same day as her Persona said she was ovulating.

That would be too ridiculously easy I confidently claimed. There was no way, that in just one half hearted naive attempt at conception, she would get pregnant. I mean, surely we were destined for months and months of ‘trying’like almost every other couple I had talked to.

Well, the first pregnancy test was one of those watch the lines type and you need to see two lines to confirm the pregnancy. The second line was very feint so I assumed it was a negative. Cat was less sure, so she bought a different brand – this time a digital one – and sure enough, there it was spelled out in black and white.

So here we are, a couple of hours into our first pregnancy and I am still too much in shock to take in the magnitude of the situation. A million thoughts race through my head, much the same as a billion fathers to be before me have thought. Like, My God, what a baby, now? I’m not ready. Will it be healthy. What if it’s a boy..or a girl? How will we cope financially. I’m dying to tell everyone, but caution, caution there is a long way to go and it seems, we are only on the very first rung of a very big ladder. Excitement and barely contained happiness mixed with anciety are what fills me at this moment in time.